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Fiction. © Copyright 1996, Jim Loy
I was showering, the other day. And I found a little pimple-like bump behind my left ear. Now, I've seen enough science fiction movies to know that that is the external portion of a control device which aliens have implanted into my brain.
At first I was concerned.
I even contemplated digging it out with a knife. But, of course, the aliens have prevented this. Obviously, they have also implanted an explosive charge, which will kill me (and anyone around me), if the control device is disturbed.
But, maybe there is no explosive charge. Maybe the aliens have left a false suggestion of such an explosive charge in my brain. If that is the case, then I should probably dig it out. I've got a knife around here somewhere. I'll bet there's one in the kitchen. But, if I could find my Exacto knife, that would be better.
I know better than to go to my doctor. He, of course, would just laugh at me. And, of course, he is under their control, too. As he examines me, I would see a similar "pimple" behind his left ear, too.
Then I thought, why risk an explosive charge, when these aliens may not even be evil. Maybe they want to control me, for good reasons. Maybe they don't want to force me to go on a bloody rampage, killing everyone in sight. Although, considering the state that the human race is in, a bloody rampage may actually be a good thing. And besides, any rampage that I might go on would not be my fault. I'm only following orders.
I've found my Exacto knife. I think that I've figured out a better use for this knife. A bloody rampage is a lot more attractive than having my head blow up from this explosive charge.
I think I'm starting to get a headache. Maybe that's some kind of signal from the aliens. I don't know what they are trying to get me to do. The headache is getting worse. I wish I could understand the message, bloody rampage or something else. I wish I had a clue.
Maybe the control device is faulty. Maybe I'm not really under their control. If they figure this out, they may cause me to self-destruct. So, I should probably go on a bloody rampage, just to fool them. This is so difficult.
What was that all about? Maybe this story needs a little explanation, as several people didn't "get it." I've noticed that people tend to jump to conclusions. The person above is an exaggeration of such a person. In particular, I think that the people who believe in flying saucers and other strange things, often build a whole structure of theory upon the flimsiest of evidence. Don't get me wrong, there just may be flying saucers. But, most sightings are probably misidentifications. A misidentified reflection in a window readily becomes a craft from a distant planet.
I personally witnessed a very startling and impressive moving UFO, which turned out to be a reflection in the side window of my moving car. I was able to identify it when the effect was repeated. See My UFO.
Anyway, I think the above story is funny, especially that second paragraph.