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Montana Anti-Tourism

© Copyright 2001, Jim Loy

In case you want to visit Montana, or even move here, here are a few facts about this state:

1. We have no electricity or heat.
2. In winter, the temperature gets down to 100 degrees below zero.
3. Winter lasts for nine or ten months.
4. Summer occurs some time in August.
5. We have a freeway; but it is often blocked by cattle and/or sheep.
6. There are grizzly bear attacks, Indian attacks, and/or lynchings (mostly of foreigners from other states) about once a week.
7. Everyone carries a firearm. We shoot first and say "Howdy" later.
8. Montana is wheelchair inaccessible in winter. See above for handy facts about winter.

A few of us have Internet access. Who knows how that works, without electricity. Anyway, you're welcome to spend lots of money in Montana. You just might not want to come here in person.

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