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The Worst Movies

I don't think I've seen very many really bad movies. But I have seen some. Here are some that I have seen. Some are movies that I thought were very very good, but other people really hated them. I thought these were good (the really bad movies are at the bottom of this page, where they belong):

• The English Patient: One of the best movies ever, but sad. A reviewer in Maxim said that it was boring, but the review showed that he/she had not actually seen the movie. The movie actually made me think about reverse discrimination, as the main character is a Hungarian nobleman who's tragic downfall happens because he is of the upper class. DVD VHS
• The Usual Suspects: There are logic flaws in this wonderful movie (see The Usual Suspects - What Is Real?). They may prevent you from enjoying it. I still want this to be a book. DVD VHS
• Conspiracy Theory: One visitor to my pages hated this movie. The love story could have gone off the deep end, and they could have lived happily together ever after, but they don't, which shows admirable restraint on the part of the writer. DVD VHS
• Life Is Beautiful: Very few overwhelming tragedies are overwhelmingly funny; Terms of Endearment comes to mind. It is hard to watch such a movie, and this one has subtitles. Some of the humor is stupid, while the story is tragic beyond belief. I think it is a great movie. DVD (subtitled), VHS (dubbed)
• The Opposite Sex: Roger Ebert hated this movie. I don't know if I can figure that out. The movie is verbally funny. VHS
• Sphere: One reader of these pages really hated this movie. Of all of the frightening action movies, this one is unique (as far as I know) in that all of the death and destruction comes from the minds of the victims. DVD VHS
• Jonathan Livingston Seagull: Roger Ebert hated this movie. I have to agree that the story is mind-numbingly cute and stupid. But visually, and musically, the movie is stunning. The music by Neil Diamond really is very good. VHS
• The Mission: The critics hated this movie, and I loved it. It is beautiful visually. I couldn't stop the tears at the end. I guess I couldn't bear to see that the innocent people in this story really had no hope, they were doomed. DVD VHS

These were not among my favorites, but I liked them:

• Dead Poets Society: Roger Ebert hated this one. I liked it a lot.
• Home Alone II: This really is a sick Roadrunner cartoon, without really being a cartoon. But I thought it was hilarious.
• Tai-Pan: Roger Ebert hated this, but I liked it.

And now, some movies that really were bad, bad, bad:

• Heaven's Gate: I wanted this to be good, because it was filmed in Montana, and was about Montana history. But it was the most confusing, most disgusting, most depressing movie I have ever seen (maybe).
• Ishtar: I'm not sure what was wrong with this movie. I guess the people in it were as bored as I was. Uninteresting.
• Caligula: Interesting history interspersed with disgusting porn and stomach wrenching blood.
• Lost in Space: I wonder what was wrong with this stupid movie, but it was bad. I guess a lot of it didn't make sense, and the characters were uninteresting. I'll bet it was in 3-D.
• Newsies: I actually forget why I disliked this movie.
• Howard the Duck: If a cartoon character miraculously came to life, everyone would want to kill it, according to this movie.
• Starship Troopers: Glorification of mindless, stupid death. Terrible. Was the book like that?

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